The One Thing That Makes Sense
by bfalt1
Summary: Percy is late (which really isn't anything new). But things get even worse when he gets attacked by the Minotaur. More than an hour late, filthy, with a ripped tuxedo, Percy now has to figure out how he can possible get to his wedding on time. Rated T for mild language.


**AN: Hello, and Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Hope you all had a wonderful day with whomever you decided to spend your day with, whether it was a significant other, friends, family, or even just yourself. It's been a few months since I posted, but I've been busy planning for a big story. I'll post a sneak preview soon. Anyway, here's a Valentine's Day special. If you guys like this and want a second chapter, let me know in reviews. Anyway, happy reading and DFTBA!**

The One Thing That Makes Sense

"I am _so_ dead," Percy moaned checking his watch. He drummed his fingers nervously on the steering wheel of his car. It had only been a few weeks since he'd moved back to the City, and he still wasn't used to the traffic. Or the ridiculously long traffic lights. Percy adjusted the collar of his tuxedo. "The one day I need everything to go right, I get stuck in traffic," he grumbled. At least it was just traffic and not a monster though. Knowing his luck, he was half expecting to get attacked on his way, but so far so good. But, alas, life as a demigod never quite worked out that way.

At last, the light turned green. "Finally!" Percy exclaimed. He started forward, but halfway across the intersection his world was flipped upside down. Literally. Percy heard screaming and honking from his right. He turned his head to look right as something big, hairy, and brown ran into the side of his car. He cried out as the car flipped upside down and skidded across the intersection. Glass shattered, Percy's head was swung around like a bobblehead, and the airbag went off.

Percy heard ringing and the distant sound of horns honking and people screaming. The car shook again, as it was lifted off the ground. Out of the windshield, Percy made out murderous eyes glaring in at him and nostrils that seriously needed some of that Aloe Vera Kleenex. Percy recognized his old friend, unfortunately. With a roar, his old friend threw the vehicle, Percy still in it. He yelled some choice expletives, sure that he was going to die. Miraculously, when the car collided with the building, it hit wheel-first. Percy's senses were overloaded; he had no clue what was going on for a few seconds. Screaming, the sound of bricks falling, and sirens made discerning any intelligible sound impossible. His vision was filled with bricks, broken metal, his airbag, and several sights he couldn't quite identify.

Luckily, years of training and fighting had kicked Percy's instincts into overdrive. He unbuckled and forced open his door. He stumbled out into the disarrayed interior of a store. Fortunately, no one seemed injured in the immediate vicinity. Even more fortunately, Percy did not seem to have sustained any major injuries. He stumbled to his feet shakily, looking out of the hole in the store's wall. Through the dust, standing outside, Percy could see a figure standing at around ten feet tall, lower half in dressed in Greek style armor, upper half 100% USDA certified real beef, with jagged black and white horns. It was, of course, his old friend, the Minotaur.

Beef Head roared threateningly. "Oh shut up," Percy yelled, seriously pissed off. "I really needed today to be perfect, and you are ruining it!" Okay, so he was going to be late anyway, but the Minotaur didn't need to know that.

The Minotaur either didn't know or didn't care what Percy had said. He charged forward, the pile of bricks not impeding his progress at all. Percy whipped out Riptide and dove to the side, but he hadn't quite put enough difference between the two of them. The beast's arm shot out. Percy managed to avoid the arm, but the arm hit the flat of Riptide's blade. The sword was yanked from Percy's hand and went flying across the room. Percy stumbled to his feet. A tux was not very conducive to fighting monsters in.

He turned. The Minotaur now stood in between him and his sword. The beast turned to charge at him again. Percy ran at the monster simultaneously. At the last second, he hit the ground, sliding between the Minotaur's trampling legs, somehow managing not to get stepped on. Percy's slide ended right where his sword was resting. He scooped up Riptide, and kneeled facing the Minotaur. Ol' Beef Head had apparently worked on his U-turns, because he was already charging towards Percy. He braced himself, holding up his sword. The Minotaur didn't even slow down as he ran into the sword. The momentum sent golden powder flying all over Percy.

Percy shook his head. "Some monsters never learn."

* * *

It took some work, but Percy was able to vacate the area before the police showed up. He ducked into a Starbucks and locked himself in the bathroom. He was panicking. Today was supposed to be the best day of his life, but the Minotaur had ruined it. He looked into the grimy mirror. His face was covered in dirt and dust, his tux was in tatters and stained, the sea green vest and tie were now a murky brown, and he was at least an hour late now.

He could only think of one thing. Percy cranked the hot water on the sink. After a few seconds, steam started rising. He pulled an emergency drachma from his pocket and threw it into the almost invisible rainbow formed by the mist. "Yo, Fleecy, do me a solid," Percy said. Then, "Jason Grace, Central Park." An image shimmered into existence. Jason was standing in a tent, looking through a crack that was a canvas door. Outside were rows and rows of metal seats, with people sitting in them, looking around confusedly. Directly across was another tent, where Percy was sure that Annabeth was freaking out.

"Jason!" Percy exclaimed, getting his friend's attention. Jason turned. Jason's tux was in perfect condition, and his new glasses flashed as he turned to face Percy.

"Percy! Where in Hades name are you?!" Jason exclaimed. Then he looked Percy over. "You look like shit."

"I'm in a Starbucks bathroom," Percy explained. "I got attacked by the Minotaur. My car is totaled."

Jason winced. "Shit. Okay."

"What in Zeus's name am I supposed to do?" Percy cried out.

"Calm down, man," Jason said. "We'll fix this. What's the address of the Starbucks you're in?" Percy relayed the street. "Alright, dude, just hang tight a second."

"What? No, wait!" But it was too late. Jason had already waved his hand through the image dissolving it. "Jason!" Percy called out in vain. There was a knock on the door. "Just a minute!" Percy said.

"Open the door, Percy," a familiar voice responded. Perplexed, Percy opened the door. Standing there was Nico, his black hair cut short, and looking dapper in his tux. "You look even worse than Jason said," Nico observed.

Percy blinked. "Pluto's pauldrons di Angelo, what are you doing here?"

Nico smirked. "Rescuing you," he said, matter-of-factly. "Back in the bathroom, Jackson." He shoved Percy back into the room and closed the door. He held out his hand. "Grab on." Percy understood. He gripped his friend's hand.

"You're a lifesaver," Percy said, thanking Nico.

Nico rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, save it for the reception." He used his free hand to shut off the light, turning the bathroom to complete darkness. Then, a familiar feeling washed over Percy. They were shadow travelling. When the sensation stopped, Percy found himself standing in the tent that Jason had been in when Percy had IM'ed him. Jason tackled him in a bear hug.

"Glad you're okay, dude," he said. At that moment, Piper came into the tent, too. She looked nice in her sea green dress. Percy couldn't wait to see Annabeth in _her _dress. If that was even going to happen still.

Piper was holding a bag in one hand and a pair of hangers with…

"Is that a new tux!" Percy exclaimed.

She smiled. "Sure is. Saving your ass again Jackson. You owe me how many times now?" She handing the clothes to Jason. "First though, we gotta clean up your face. No way are you going out looking like that."

"What do you want me to do?" Nico asked.

"Get Hazel or Reyna to tell Annabeth ten minutes," Piper said, taking charge of the situation. "Then go stop Grover from eating any more cans."

Nico shot her a thumbs-up and exited the tent. Piper turned back to Percy and opened her bag, pulling out a massive variety of items, and started cleaning off Percy's face. After a few minutes later, Piper seemed pleased with her work. She held up a small mirror for Percy to see. It didn't even look like he'd been through a monster attack, except, of course, for the ripped tux. But that would soon be fixed, too.

Jason handed Percy the new clothes. "Alright," Piper said, "I'm gonna go make sure your fiancée is ready."

"You're a lifesaver," Percy called after her.

"I know," Piper called back.

Jason helped Percy pull on his new tux. "You ready, Perce?"

Percy took a deep breath. "As ready as I'll ever be," he said. In a world as crazy as his, he'd never really be ready for what was next. But today, today he'd finally be able to cement the one thing in his world that actually made sense. Today he was getting married, and not even all the monsters in Tartarus could stop him.


End file.
